Everyone knows I’m not the most motivated or disciplined person on earth. Hell – I abandoned this brand new blog for two weeks once work got a little crazy, if it helps to prove my very sad point.
Most aggravatingly, I also abandoned my exercise routine over those two weeks in favour of passing out face-down on my bed once I got home from work, because as much as I love being active and fit, being an adult is tiring as heck, and no one wants to add grueling physical activity to an already long day.
Except you feel like crap when you skip that workout to watch three more episodes of Rupaul’s Drag Race while scarfing down a plate of mint choco Girl Guides cookies (DELICIOUS CHARITY). And each time you skip a workout, that’s your hard-earned strength and endurance dissipating to the void as you watch drag queens do a cartwheel and land in a forward split in 5-inch heels, underscoring just how much of a failure you are because you’re a chocolate-smeared monster who can’t even contour your nose right. So, you know, you lose every time.
… I say ‘you’ but I really mean me.
I suppose this blog post is a public declaration and a reminder to myself that I have to kick my ass into gear this June because I get a nice chunk of time off work and have no friends so I have no excuse not to dedicate it to getting back on track. Plus, I might just go check out a new crossfit box and start olympic weight lifting again – gain some muscles and mobility so I can kick someone’s ass if the need ever arises. But mostly I just want the armpit fat to go away so I can wear sleeveless tops and write on the whiteboards at work without excessive flapping in the tricep area. Help me achieve my lofty dreams.
Stay tuned for progress pictures, probably? I can’t decide if I want to do progress pictures on a platform like a blog, but the extrinsic motivation (read: the shame) would really help.
The struggle is real, folks. The struggle is real.